Doing the half-time victory dance
Musk hasn't bought Twitter yet, and you may regret it when he does.
You have to hand it to Elon Musk. He sure can rattle cages.
And so he did, by buying a 9% stake in Twitter, refusing a seat on the board which would circumscribe his shareholding and his freedom to use and abuse the platform, and then making an all-out bid for Twitter at a healthy premium over its stock price.
Naturally, everyone had to pick a side. Those who’ve enjoyed the benefits of Twitter’s imperious woke rule were horrified. Those who’ve not had the upper hand in 5 years rejoiced.
All hail Musk, said the populist right. Those who previously threw the ‘learn to code’ meme back in the faces of newly redundant journalists now redeploy the ‘it’s a private company they can do what the want’ trope. Ahh… how worthless. Funny but ultimately worthless. “What do you have against African Americans?” demand the right of the self-righteous.
Of course, the usual hysterical creatures of the left are losing their tiny minds over the idea that Musk could change Twitter’s direction and - OMFGJHCGTFO - give Trump his Twitter account back.
“If Musk buys Twitter I’m moving to Mastodon” shriek the people who still haven’t moved to Canada after Trump’s 2016 election victory.
And of course, of course, the usual sugar-addled dipshits of the right are doing the half-time victory dance.
As I write, headlines say that the Twitter board are ‘seriously considering’ Musk’s offer and that final talks will commence today.
Nowhere does it say that the board, the shareholders or the SEC have approved this deal and allowed it to run to completion. None of these considerable obstacles has been cleared. But the idiots holding the betting slips are buying everyone a brand new Cadillac with half the race still to run.
And even if the deal goes through and Musk takes ownership of Twitter, what then? What does victory look like?
It looks like Twitter has fallen into the hands of the man who wants to wire people’s brains into the Internet. A man who has made a fortune from his talent for farming government subsidies. A man who recently tweeted this:
‘Authenticate all real humans’. What exactly do you suppose that means? Does it sound like you’re going to have to show your ID to Twitter’s AI to get a twitter account? Does it mean that if you don’t you’re going to be more harshly treated by their reporting, censorship and account suspension bots? Perhaps it means that you’ll be limited in the number or size of tweets you’re allowed to make, or that there’ll be a switch that ‘authenticated’ users can flick which means they will never even see tweets from the lower orders.
You already need to be authenticated to get the blue check mark, so the mechanism is in place and it’s quite obvious that a two-tier society has already been created by that. Further stratification is all but inevitable.
Ahh.. bless… all that love. But again, this statement could mean many different things. One thing is for sure: As the Overton window moves inexorably to the left, today’s left-most 10% will be the moderates in a couple of years time. Today’s moderates will be tomorrow’s extreme right.
If you can look at the last 5 years and tell me I’m wrong, there’s something not right about your brain.
But never mind all that… today we dance, for tomorrow, the screeching NPCs could very easily be having the last laugh whether or not the Musk deal completes.
Enjoy the decline, dipshits.